# Need Patience



## seminole wind (Aug 22, 2015)

I am going to pick my mother up and take her to the outlets. We haven't been there yet. 

I need lots and lots of patience . I'm praying for patience. Please just let me survive the day, LOL.


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## nannypattyrn (Aug 23, 2015)

Dear Lord pls help Seminole today!


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## dawg53 (Aug 25, 2015)

I can relate Karen. Patience and compassion, I have to bite my tongue sometimes with my mom.


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## CFAdmin (Dec 16, 2015)

Good luck today Seminole! You can do it!


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## robin416 (Sep 8, 2013)

Uh, did you take your meds? I would have sent you some if I'd known about this trip earlier. It would have made the day so pleasant.


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## dawg53 (Aug 25, 2015)

How'd it go Karen?


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## seminole wind (Aug 22, 2015)

Well it was good. We had a nice time at an outlet that everything is overpriced. We went to Starbuck's. I was nice. Then we get back in the truck and she says "let go out to eat" . I felt like banging my head on the steering wheel. Instead I showed her how late is was getting. I got her home by 5pm.

I let her vent about all the controlling possessiveness of my dad, and I don't say much because she won't defend herself. It's like she needs an Aleve and he will only let her take one. I told her that she should say if you don't give me another pill, I'm not going to Las Vegas with you! That would bring him to his knees.
So I survived and thanks for all the support. I just get real tired of dear mom venting for hours about my father, but not doing anything about it.

.


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## dawg53 (Aug 25, 2015)

We'll be in their shoes one day Karen, (some of us probably already are) and my kids will be saying the same thing about us for whatever reason when the time comes.
My 90 year old mom with alzheimer's moved in with us 5 weeks ago. It's was a rough road at first and occasionally she gets on my nerves. I was all set to do a lot of fishing, bike riding and swimming at the beach this year...all that went bye bye lol. I kinda look at it as a small sacrifice for all the years she raised me and my siblings while my dad was deployed. 
We think my mom is going to live a long time. My escapes are the chicken pen, the yard and garden, bed at night, and of course giving my mom her meds including xanax. Without giving her xanax, I'd have to move into the coop!


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## 8hensalaying (Jun 5, 2015)

It is hard sometimes dealing with our parents getting older. Dawg, you have great perspective. I think about all the times I must have driven my mom bonkers when I was little. When the time comes that she needs me to care for her I hope I am as patient with her as she was to me. Unfortunately I have a little too much of my daddy in me so I will probably fail. but I will keep trying  Sem I am glad the day went smoothly, I am sure your mom appreciated it and enjoyed her outing with you


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## chickenqueen (Jan 9, 2016)

Sem,Thank God you still have your mother-some of us don't have our mother anymore.Dawg you are to be commended for taking your mother in.Alzheimer's is not easy to deal with.Towards the end of my mother she was very confused and thought everybody was trying to poison her,so she quit eating and drinking.I'm sure it hastened her death.I know mothers are hard to deal with but remember-some day they will be gone.So everybody cherish your mother Sunday...And everyday!


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## dawg53 (Aug 25, 2015)

My dad was 86 when he died and had dementia AND alzheimer's. He was much worse as compared with my mom. We placed him in the Georgia War Veterans home in Milledgeville, Ga. 
That place was the pits, lazy people abound. I regret putting him in there but there wernt any alternatives. I tried getting him into Lake City, Florida vet home but we were domiciled in Georgia. Lake City was only an hour drive vs 5 hours one way to Milledgeville. We couldnt go to see him as often as we wanted, I was taking care of my very sick wife over the 5 year period my dad was in the nursing home.
As a matter of fact my dad died 3 days after my wife died in 2012.
I've moved on and cherish all the good times and things in our lives.


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## 8hensalaying (Jun 5, 2015)

All we can do is our best, and sometimes they need more care than we can provide. I do think it is a shame that the elderly and infirm have such a hard time getting good care. My BFF is bedridden with MS and has been in a nursing home for 5 years. She is in a very nice place compared to a lot of them, but even so the acceptable level of care is pitiful.


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## chickenmommy (Apr 30, 2013)

Omg parents is a topic we can all go on and on about. I love my dad but my mom drives me crazy. She has never raised chickens or any other type of livestock but will text me in the middle of the night to tell me to make sure I'm taking care of my animals because there's a storm coming lol


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## seminole wind (Aug 22, 2015)

Dawg, I'm sorry you lost your wife and father like that. Yes CM, we could go on all day. I love my mother but hate hearing all about the neighbor's business and ailments, and really hate listening to her go on about my father for hours, but she never seems to stop him even tho it would be very easy. 

It's taken me 50 years to see that dad is all about dad, and my 2 other sisters have really messed up their own lives, and I was always treated as having his approval was conditional. 

I have better luck with family type people I choose. Like my chicken family


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## nannypattyrn (Aug 23, 2015)

Seminole, I sure hear on the approval thing. I always felt like I had to be perfect (I never was or am now) to have dad and mom's approval. I don't have either one though. I lost mom 40+ years ago and dad 30+ years ago.


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## seminole wind (Aug 22, 2015)

I remember watching my daughter going thru the father/approval thing. Her father was an alchoholic and I think she always felt like she was #2. She had an eye opener last time she went to visit him in Germany with a new baby and husband. And he talked to the husband but barely said anything to her.


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