# Zoning- Are you kidding me?



## seminole wind (Aug 22, 2015)

I am moving. I have 2 sheds on the property . This is the code compliance info

Yes a permit is required for installing a shed. A site plan / survey must be submitted. An engineered plan must be submitted. Also an environmental health dept approval must be submitted if you are on septic. There are other documents and procedures that are best obtained by calling Central Permitting at (727) 847-8126.

All this for 2 10 x 12 sheds. I can't be bothered with this stuff, I'll give them to the neighbor.

I am divorcing. I'm moving up by my daughter. I don't know when I'll get there but I will.


----------



## nannypattyrn (Aug 23, 2015)

Karen I'm so sorry for the journey your having to travel right now. I hope things progress smoothly and quickly for you.


----------



## chickenqueen (Jan 9, 2016)

Sem,I'm sorry to hear that.I hope you can get through this with minimal problems.When my husband left me I was in a very dark place.Ever hear the saying it's darkest before dawn?That's how it was and then the sun rose and I started a new life.The sun is still shining.I hope the sun rises for you.Good luck and, as always,the CF people are here for you.


----------



## dawg53 (Aug 25, 2015)

I'm sorry Karen. Any chance of marriage counseling, talking with a church minister or priest?


----------



## seminole wind (Aug 22, 2015)

I don't think much is going to change except disconnecting myself financially. Other than that, hubs is an old fart and moving is in my future, but not just yet. And my parents are in their 80s and I don't think I can desert them. I just don't want to be responsible for undiscovered debts .

So I now have to think about the 6 chicks coming the 16th. It's sort of like I have 23, what's a few more?


----------



## seminole wind (Aug 22, 2015)

dawg53 said:


> I'm sorry Karen. Any chance of marriage counseling, talking with a church minister or priest?


Thanks. But no. This credit card issue has gone on for 18 years over and over and I'm done with it. I just don't want to be a part of it.


----------



## dawg53 (Aug 25, 2015)

We have two 10x16 sheds that were built in our back yard by Lowe's. The builder took care of all the necessary paperwork with zoning and city. After they were built, a building inspector came and inspected both sheds. The building inspector spent 10 minutes looking at the sheds and signed off on the paperwork...passed. I think it cost about $400 altogether.


----------



## seminole wind (Aug 22, 2015)

chickenqueen said:


> Sem,I'm sorry to hear that.I hope you can get through this with minimal problems.When my husband left me I was in a very dark place.Ever hear the saying it's darkest before dawn?That's how it was and then the sun rose and I started a new life.The sun is still shining.I hope the sun rises for you.Good luck and, as always,the CF people are here for you.


Thanks. Hopefully nothing will change except I won't have to worry about someone's poor financial judgement affecting my good judgement. Its funny about human nature. Some people are just not comfortable unless they have unnecessary debt hidden and are broke all the time trying to make those payments, just as some people have anxiety when they owe money.


----------



## seminole wind (Aug 22, 2015)

dawg53 said:


> We have two 10x16 sheds that were built in our back yard by Lowe's. The builder took care of all the necessary paperwork with zoning and city. After they were built, a building inspector came and inspected both sheds. The building inspector spent 10 minutes looking at the sheds and signed off on the paperwork...passed. I think it cost about $400 altogether.


You know there's people out there who take care of this stuff for a living. However keeping them may entail putting them on concrete and I don't need them that bad. I don't need the coop and the other one is almost empty except for some rubber maid tubs.


----------



## dawg53 (Aug 25, 2015)

Our sheds arnt on concrete. As a matter of fact the building inspector stated that if they were on concrete, our property taxes would've increased.
I guess it depends on what local laws state. I didnt need any type of permits in Georgia for the two sheds I had there, and I was on septic also.


----------



## seminole wind (Aug 22, 2015)

It's strange about zoning here. I thought NY was bad.


----------



## dawg53 (Aug 25, 2015)

That's because all the yankees are down here running this state! LOL


----------



## seminole wind (Aug 22, 2015)

Dilemma. Yesterday I told my parents I wanted to move closer to my daughter and 3 grandkids and I want to know my grandkids better. My father calls up this morning and says that he couldn't sleep all night because I said I want to move. He says they are in their 80's and who's going to be there for them if I go? My one sister is in NY and my other is here but drinks and can't drive. So that leaves me. 

He says I love Florida so why would I want to leave? And didn't I care about them anymore? 

So there's the guilt trip. My daughter and husband see them for what they are . 

I think I'll work on getting this house in shape, like repainting, and then decide.


----------



## Wilbur's Mom (Aug 10, 2017)

I am so sorry to hear the struggles you are facing. Made worse by your parents making you feel guilty for taking action. They should be supporting you, not tearing you down. You know what you need, no other does, except God. Sounds as if your decision is already made and we support you. We are in the county so we don’t have much issues with zoning. Thanks goodness!


----------



## nannypattyrn (Aug 23, 2015)

Nothing like the parental guilt trip! Looks to me like they have 2 choices- go with you or stay and find help...


----------



## dawg53 (Aug 25, 2015)

I can relate Karen. It's tough. The only thing stopping us from moving is my mom, she is 92 and shows no signs of slowing down. She says she is the "rooster" at the nursing home.

I'm committed to ensure her well being. It's not easy dealing with her. She has accused me of everything under the sun, from stealing food from her freezer in her garage (many years prior to her dementia diagnosis) to recently selling her house and furniture and pocketing the money. Arguments abound and it's the same thing over and over again, material things and money. Guilt trips are limitless and I'm now immune to them. I have to be more hardheaded than her and I detest confrontation. One of her church friends once told me that someone has to be more stubborn than her in order to deal with her. (I got that job too.)

I have her POA and health care directive. My siblings dont want no part of taking care of her, their visits are rare albeit they live out of state.
I gotten quite a few gray hairs from all of it.
I have to check myself though...she was the one that changed my poopy diapers when I was a youngun, took me to the doctor when I was sick, fed me, etc...
Also, I have the utmost respect for caretakers.

My time will come. I seriously doubt any of my kids or my wife's kids or even grandkids will have anything to do with us. That's the way it is with most children these days, I-pad in hand and it's all about me me me. They live at home, have no job, yet they can get tattoo's.
I told my wife to put me in the VA nursing home in Gainesville, Florida when my time comes. Forget Gainesville, I meant Lake City, Florida. Too many Gator fans in Gainesville.
You and Robin can come and visit me and we can talk chickens!


----------



## Maryellen (Jan 21, 2015)

I'm so sorry you are going thru this
I've gone thru it myself, don't let anyone guilt you . (((((Hugs)))


----------



## seminole wind (Aug 22, 2015)

Jim, we will visit you a lot and may even sneak you in a little friend!


----------



## seminole wind (Aug 22, 2015)

I hear ya, Dawg. You've always had a lot on your plate. I would think that way with my mom too. But I'm 58 now and remember all the things I've done for his approval to feel like I was getting his unconditional love like my sister got. 

When it comes down to it, I should have a clear conscience with whatever I do. There's always phones and planes. There's never any problem for them to fly to Vegas 3x a year, and I know that my daughter's been hurt at the times they flew pretty near to right over my daughter's city to get to Vegas and never stopped to visit her. 

And, what about my needs? To live closer to my daughter after 20 years? Live closer to the grand kids? Be part of Son in Law's extended family? Or stay in an area I love in a home I love. I am not sure.


----------



## Wilbur's Mom (Aug 10, 2017)

I am sure Your grandkids are missing out on not having you close, so is your daughter and SIL. I am blessed with a MIL that loves my kids and wants to spend time with them. My parents on the other hand haven’t seen my girls in years. When they get older and try to guilt trip me, well....I doubt it will go their way. I wouldn’t turn them away. But they moved far away from any family so they could live “their” life. When you have peace about whichever you chose, then you’ll find rest. Dawg you are so right
How it’s all about me syndrome. We are teaching our girls that it is most definitely not


----------



## seminole wind (Aug 22, 2015)

That's really nice for saying that, Wilbur's Mom. We all lived in NY until 1995 when my parents decided to enjoy life and move to Florida. My response was "that's great! You should be doing things that make you happy!" My daughter talks about when retired being a motor home snow bird, and it would be harder for me, but I would support her in anything.

Jim, Dementia is hard on all family, and it's good you know you did the best for her safety, and see her often. I could not care for my mom, she falls all the time and breaks bones, and forgets stuff. I would be her advocate and not forget her, but would be unable to care for her at home.

I've had a lifetime of seeing my sisters get unconditional love and me getting the conditional love. He actually transferred that onto my daughter and I could see it happen to her at a young age.

I can see it again as when my grandkids were really young and did things little kids do like splash in the pool, he complained about it. One time he actually forbid my mom from speaking to my daughter (for a year) because of a spat over toys being put away.

Since the Christmas incident (if push came to shove I would be sacrificed as the one to be left behind) I have decided to have reasons to not participate. Only if my sister has a holiday at her house, I'll go. But not for anyone else.

I'm tired of being the only one who is honorable. No more. I'll do, but not out of guilt. The guilt is over.


----------



## dawg53 (Aug 25, 2015)

Sounds like it's time for tough love Karen. BUT, you must FORGIVE no matter the outcome.
My mom and I have argued over the stupidest stuff to the point I wanted to call it quits many times.
My conscience says otherwise and I know it bothers her as well. We end up back on good terms and I tell her straight up that I forgive her and she apologizes. 
When I visit her every Sunday, I can tell what mood she's in. Her attitude depends how long I stay to visit. There have been times I just drop her clothes off and tell her that I'll see her next Sunday and then hit the road back to Jax lol. That's tough love and it works. (I like taking hwy 301 back on those days, more scenic and much less traffic than I-95.)
The key is forgiveness Karen, dont harden your heart.


----------



## Maryellen (Jan 21, 2015)

My mother made it a point to tell me numerous times how much she wished she coukd disown me. She said if it wasn't for my father she would have disowned me years ago (this was when I was in my 20's). . 
I continously did my good daughter role . When my father died I did more. After he was dead for a year I started going thru a bad divorce. I told my mom she needed to have my brother take care of her as I had to focus on my divorce with a clear head. She yelled at me , told me I disowned her, and proceeded to tell every relative I disowned and abandoned her... she stopped taking my calls . She and my money hungry greedy brother convinced my entire relatives I was no good. . When she went on her rampage I walked away as I couldn't take it any more. Being told she wished she coukd disown me over the years then her lying to my relatives was the straw that broke the camels back. I walked away and never looked back. I found out by accident 2 months after she died that she died .she left everything to my greedy money hungry brother as he planned. The relationship was toxic. I coukd never do good no matter how I tried. 
I tried to get in touch with my relatives a few times but they believed whst my mother and brother told them. I have no regrets , I ad to take care of myself and I tried my whole life to please her. It took me 5 years after her death to forgive what she did and said to me thru out my life...I will never forget it though. I only forgave her as it was eating me up. Once I did I felt a huge weight lift off. 
I miss my relatives, but if they are not going to even try to find out my side of the story then I don't want to talk to them the irony is my ex husband told them.lues about me to and is friends with all of them on facebook. 
I've never looked back and have no toxic people in my life. Life is to short to be abused whether mentally, verbally or physically. .

Make your decision based on what YOU want to do. Don't let anyone guilt you into something you don't want to do.


----------



## seminole wind (Aug 22, 2015)

Maryellen, that's just plain awful! I don't think there's any words to describe that. Sounds like another control freak who couldn't deal with not being in control of you. I'm glad you found relief through forgiveness.

It took me a few years to forgive my dead ex-husband . It did feel like a huge weight lifted off my shoulders as well.

Jim, you're right. Not forgiving is like a ball and chain. 
I think I'll side with my daughter. She's really smart and sees things for what they are.


----------



## dawg53 (Aug 25, 2015)

Maryellen, I'm glad you have forgiven your mom and I hope you have forgiven relatives.
I've had similar issues as you've had. Relatives and non relatives believe what they want to believe and nothing is going to change that. Convincing them otherwise is a waste of time as they will still have their doubts. So be it, let them wallow in their swill. 
The ones that are supposed to love you the most, seem to hurt you the most. Greed and pride in this instance. Isnt it great to get that heavy burden off your shoulders? Yepper.


----------



## Maryellen (Jan 21, 2015)

I didn't want to forgive them, but I didn't want to have it destroy me. They are all dead to me. I forgave them all but I feel nothing for them. I saw my brother twice after my mom died, I looked thru him like he didn't exist . None of them do to me.


----------



## Maryellen (Jan 21, 2015)

It's ok seminolewild, I'm fine now, took a few years for the hate to go away. But, I feel so much better.


----------



## seminole wind (Aug 22, 2015)

Since 2 years ago, I have lost that "GOTTA please dad" feeling. I humor them.


----------



## chickenqueen (Jan 9, 2016)

I know my mother turned on me but we never really got along.She had 2 sons that she abandoned and I think I was suppose to be a boy.A year and 2 days later,my brother came and I believe I was neglected(long story but proof is there).Fast forward to 2000 and I'm the only one taking care of her and her husband(favorite son lives in GA.,and the other is drunk and homeless in FLA).My mother started accusing me of stupid things,then became convinced I was a drug addict(life with her would've been easier with drugs LOL)and it got so bad,I couldn't take it anymore.My brother came from GA and took her straight to a nursing home in GA.She died less than 3 months later.I don't think I've forgiven her yet but I don't hate her as much.It's really hard when it's your mother that has turned into your enemy.I think that's why I prefer animals over people and always have,even as a youngster.I'm happy and content now(and Dale is just another pet).


----------



## dawg53 (Aug 25, 2015)

CQ. Since you dont hate your mom no more, it's time to take the next step and forgive her...AND anyone else who has offended you.
I have.


----------



## chickenqueen (Jan 9, 2016)

I'm trying......


----------



## nannypattyrn (Aug 23, 2015)

I've been in similar shoes, just not with family as much. Mine mostly had to do with abuse in the work place. It took me awhile to realize that forgiveness is a choice and the feelings catch up later. It took me several years in a particularly abusive job incident to realize that. With my family it was also a choice that took years and now the healing process is current and continuing.


----------



## seminole wind (Aug 22, 2015)

CQ, It took me about 5 years before I forgave my dead ex husband. Sometimes it does take years before you can "feel" forgiveness. 

One year, I think my daughter was 20 and back from Basic (?) for Christmas. Her dad was cremated and she had the ashes. She says to me "can I bring dad? He'll be all alone at Christmas." Of course I said HE11 No!

I am surely not by far the only one with dysfunctional family relationships and I am very sorry for those who had rotten parents. Like CQ I find solace in my chickens and horse and tend to stay by myself at home with hubs.


----------



## Wilbur's Mom (Aug 10, 2017)

Watching my girls around the yard, it is just so peaceful. My sister has chickens too, and my parents just can't believe we each have them. But they don't know me, if they did they would get it. After years of letting myself get hurt by them, I finally was able to brush it off. The last straw for me is when I got a text from my dad that grandpa had died. Not even a phone call, but a text..i mean, really.... but it's ok, hubby, me, our girls and my sister are all the family I need.


----------

