# Cyberbullies are not only children



## seminole wind (Aug 22, 2015)

I like this forum called COTH (chronicle of the horse). They are the only one that has a category for Dressage. I've been a dressage nut since 1984, had shown in the 80's and 90's. Now I have a gaited horse, and just ride trail or practice riding some dressage movements in the ring. No big deal.

But some woman and then a few more have been belittling me, harassing, try to make me look stupid or an idiot, made up things that I never said. It's been going on for a few months. I finally replied with a full description of what a cyberbully adult is and this is what they are. Of course they played innocent about it, but I posted that some people think they are really good at hiding what they're up to. So now it stopped. I don't think she likes the idea of her peers thinking she is a horrible person. Well I think everyone should know what a horrible person she is.

I figured that she is low man on the totem pole and I am an unknown who may be more experienced than her, and this is her way of dealing with it.
There are still others that are a wealth of information and worth listening to.

I also wrote that I'm surprised that the Forum and the Moderators condone this type of thing. I got no reply on that.

It's pretty sad when a big popular horse forum can let this stuff go on. But they do. People think cyberbullies are children, but they are adults too. 

It's a good thing that there are forums that don't allow this and you can just come on and relax and not have to worry about anything. 

Has anyone else come across a cyberbully?


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## robin416 (Sep 8, 2013)

I was stalked across forums once. The forum owner was notified and when the two did not ceases and desist, she banned them. 

On another the first post another stalker made on a poultry forum was to attack me. I made some snide comment about it out in the open and never saw her again.

So, yes they are out there. Oh and the two after me also got thrown off the forum they were moderators on once that forum owner realized the two were causing a ton of problems on that forum.


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## 8hensalaying (Jun 5, 2015)

I hate that happened to you. Yes some bullies stay bullies all their lives and give birth and raise future bullies. I also think that the relative anonymity of the internet allows them free reign to spew their hatred with little consequences to their actions


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## seminole wind (Aug 22, 2015)

robin416 said:


> I was stalked across forums once. The forum owner was notified and when the two did not ceases and desist, she banned them.
> 
> On another the first post another stalker made on a poultry forum was to attack me. I made some snide comment about it out in the open and never saw her again.
> 
> So, yes they are out there. Oh and the two after me also got thrown off the forum they were moderators on once that forum owner realized the two were causing a ton of problems on that forum.


That must have been some big deal when it was found to be the mods!


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## seminole wind (Aug 22, 2015)

8hensalaying said:


> I hate that happened to you. Yes some bullies stay bullies all their lives and give birth and raise future bullies. I also think that the relative anonymity of the internet allows them free reign to spew their hatred with little consequences to their actions


I had to get on Yahoo and find out how to deal with them! I was doing the wrong thing by explaining thinking I was being misunderstood. But now I will just ignore it.


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## zamora (May 26, 2015)

I'm so sorry about the cyberbullies, I have seen it quite a bit but luckily have not been involved in it. When I had horses, I was a member of a few horse forums and to this day, I am still a member over at COTH. I never go there anymore and haven't for years due to the bullies I have encountered over there. I don't know why but the few dressage forums I have been a member of tend to breed these bullies so I just quit going. There used to be a really awesome forum Percheron Horse Network but it has since gone away. 

Facebook is *chock full* of cyberbullies BTW.


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## seminole wind (Aug 22, 2015)

I think they think that they love discussion dressage with others but the ego's make them highly competitive in the "I know it all " department. 

I think the person and her cohorts have gotten the message and are behaving themselves. I just treat them like nothing happened. I think I had a big help in one of the top riders there posting that no one deserves that treatment . I know her a bit better because she is pure pro personal growth and has gotten far.


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## Kristi (Feb 28, 2016)

I haven't, but I hate that kind of stuff. So sorry that happened to you. So sad that people act that way.


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## seminole wind (Aug 22, 2015)

These people bully many people away. One starts and the rest gang up. Esp. Dressage people.
I'll go back to lurking.

Thanks Kristi.


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## seminole wind (Aug 22, 2015)

zamora said:


> I'm so sorry about the cyberbullies, I have seen it quite a bit but luckily have not been involved in it. When I had horses, I was a member of a few horse forums and to this day, I am still a member over at COTH. I never go there anymore and haven't for years due to the bullies I have encountered over there. I don't know why but the few dressage forums I have been a member of tend to breed these bullies so I just quit going. There used to be a really awesome forum Percheron Horse Network but it has since gone away.
> 
> Facebook is *chock full* of cyberbullies BTW.


I think I'll just be happy with the links I got there to interesting articles on famous dressage people.


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## Kristi (Feb 28, 2016)

seminolewind said:


> These people bully many people away. One starts and the rest gang up. Esp. Dressage people.
> I'll go back to lurking.
> 
> Thanks Kristi.


I've seen this same kind of attitude with chinchilla breeders, cat breeders, and many other people in various groups. It seems like it's a product of just being part of a group that adheres to a specific set of rules that become the "norm". Once someone breaks those rules, they are ostracized, and the bullying gets worse and worse. It's very sad. I honestly don't understand why people can't just say, "this is the way that has seemed to work best, but of course, it is entirely up to you". In the chinchilla groups, it is very normal to have someone say that you CAN'T breed your chinchilla, "Breeding is not for your chinchilla, if it is not A, B, and C." It's really odd.

Anyway, I guess your post hit a nerve. I'm sure your situation is different than mine, so sorry to go off on a tangent. I do that sometimes.


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## Nm156 (May 16, 2015)

Just look at any Buckeye threads!!

http://www.chickenforum.com/f31/buckeye-chickens-277/


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## seminole wind (Aug 22, 2015)

Kristi, it must hit a nerve in a lot of people. Sorry it happens to anyone . Some people are just targets for this in some instances. 

I know all about the Buckeyes, LOL. Same on another forum but under Nazi observation.


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## seminole wind (Aug 22, 2015)

It happened again today/yesterday. They do gang up. I'm nuts for thinking it would end. It's not. I can't go there anymore. It's too tempting to want to join a discussion.


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## Kristi (Feb 28, 2016)

seminolewind said:


> It happened again today/yesterday. They do gang up. I'm nuts for thinking it would end. It's not. I can't go there anymore. It's too tempting to want to join a discussion.


I left FB for almost a year for that reason! It's so tempting---and maddening! I hope you are able to find a better dressage site to hang out on.


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## dawg53 (Aug 25, 2015)

seminolewind said:


> Same on another forum but under Nazi observation.


More like commie PC police.


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## chickenqueen (Jan 9, 2016)

What is wrong with people these days?I don't understand why people can't let others be.Don't they have anything better to do?You're not safe anywhere-on the internet,at the movies or even sitting in your own living room.I keep loaded guns all over my house because of predators and people.It wasn't like this when I grew up.Now I have safety concerns even being at home.I don't know what to tell you,Seminole,except hang in there


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## jewelslette (Mar 1, 2016)

I stopped feeling safe in my home a couple of years ago when three armed young men broke down my door while I was sleeping and put a gun to my son's head. They didn't realize I was in the basement, so I was on the phone with 911 immediately, but they still haven't arrested the thieves. I swear I have ptsd now because I heard the gun go off and I didn't know if they had killed my son. Its been years now and I still remember how my knees buckled under me. Luckily the shot went into a wall harmlessly, but I was forever changed in that instant.


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## nannypattyrn (Aug 23, 2015)

OMG! I can't even fathom what you went through on that one! !


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## crabapple (Oct 27, 2013)

We have a guard on another site & this person will not allow trolls to push persons around.


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## seminole wind (Aug 22, 2015)

jewelslette said:


> I stopped feeling safe in my home a couple of years ago when three armed young men broke down my door while I was sleeping and put a gun to my son's head. They didn't realize I was in the basement, so I was on the phone with 911 immediately, but they still haven't arrested the thieves. I swear I have ptsd now because I heard the gun go off and I didn't know if they had killed my son. Its been years now and I still remember how my knees buckled under me. Luckily the shot went into a wall harmlessly, but I was forever changed in that instant.


OMG!!! Terrifying! I'm glad no one got hurt. I am glad me and hubby got permits to carry. It's not perfect but it does level things out. I would be changed forever too.


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## seminole wind (Aug 22, 2015)

crabapple said:


> We have a guard on another site & this person will not allow trolls to push persons around.


I have reported blatent belittling remarks 5 times with no reply. The group of posters will stick with eachother. Right or wrong. I think dressage and other forums draw people like that, I think they are afraid of being looked at as the worst riders, and someone they don't know terrifies them. The mods do nothing there. One of them keeps saying that my horse's pictures show how poor my riding is, and I keep telling her I never posted any pictures on Coth- . So, whatever.


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## chickenqueen (Jan 9, 2016)

I can imagine a home invasion but haven't been through it,thank God!I can understand lingering effects,too.We have thought about getting a CCW and like I mentioned before,have loaded guns placed strategically around the house.You know what they say,The only thing to stop a bad guy with a gun is a good guy with a gun....


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## seminole wind (Aug 22, 2015)

I think those politicians finally get it. Gun laws are for people that obey them. Criminals don't play by the rules. 

At the time we got our permits we were living 5 months in a trailer park until our house was finished. The trailer park was probably for those who retired to Florida and have no money. A cop banged on our door several times in the middle of the night looking for someone.


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