# grandson 'says' he's reading.



## seminole wind (Aug 22, 2015)

Daughter went to dentist. I'm home with Lucas who is 8-9 years old. He needs to read 20 minutes a day. So after the 20 minute alarm goes off he stops. I said I didn't see him read just look at the TV. He said he read. So I ask him question about 6 short pages about like what is a flashdrive, or what is a barcode , etc. He can't answer any of it. So I go back thru the last 30 pages and he can't answer any of it. So obviously he did'nt read any of it.

Not my place to reprimand. I'll let the mom do it. I don't interfere. LOL

I hate to say the three kids have selective hearing, then my daughter just yells all the time. Like if one gets allowance for emptying the trash, does she have to be reminded every day in a yell voice? I would not remind them and not pay. I'm one who doesn't get mad and yell. Mine just suffered the consequences. Like forgetting to do their laundry. Or 'can I go to Amy's house?', is your room clean? No? Sorry. The next day the room is clean before she asks. 

I don't interfere with her and the kids or husband. Never did. Never will. She'll have to ask a friend. Sometimes I think she resents me for not butting in.


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## sswanee17 (May 17, 2015)

It doesn't do any good to butt in. That always seems to backfire on me.


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## chickenmommy (Apr 30, 2013)

I think it's kind of hard either way. Especially when it comes to homework. You don't want them to miss an assignment or get something wrong but at the same time ur not momma and you don't wanna do her job.


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## robin416 (Sep 8, 2013)

Four words: rock and a hard place. 

Well, I guess that's actually five words.


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## seminole wind (Aug 22, 2015)

LOL . Yes rock. I told her and she said the book was over his head anyway. Then she tells him to turn off the TV and read 20 minutes. He spend most of that time wandering around. I'm not commenting.

Yesterday I ask one granddaughter if I can borrow her toothpaste. she said she doesn't have any. I ask her later and she says she had a little bit but she needs it. so I say can I borrow your moms? she goes into their bathroom and tells me she can't find it. but she does text her dad and ask him to bring some home. 

my thoughts are that she could have tried a bit harder (age13) and I had given her fifty bucks the day before for clothes. I mean i'm trying to be nice, maybe I just expect too much.

daughter says I can't expect them to find anything because they don't normally find things. then she says I should have looked in other g.daughter's bathroom. I guess by that time I was too upset.


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## jn4 (Jun 21, 2012)

My Dad was a strict no nonsense man but he was fair and consistent. It helped me. I tried the same with our 5 kids it worked well for all but my oldest son, He's now 32. His claim was That I was unfair,..overbearing, mean,..blah blah...you know the deal. I allowed him as much freedom and responsibility as he could handle. His first rifle at 9...first car at 16 ..you know the drill. The girls I kept a bit closer....not mean or anything just more protective... Now the Girl's have all done pretty well...are good parents and role models......
My son?....since I was old fashion he decided to raise his 2 kids the modern newage way..no rules!! open expression of feelings and such....it's been a disaster for him and his wife. Those kids are 10 and 13 now......and rebellious as all get out...He constantly screams and hollers at them and they pay him no mind, maybe because there are no consequences for their behavior. He asked what was the problem.....I told him that the problem was HIM not the kids. They have no routine...no structure....no discipline ...no nothing.. His remark was he was determined not to be like me.... No problem...find your own way but do it quick before you lose total control over them. He asks his friends and co-workers and they have told him the same thing I have. But he refuses it all. I want to butt in but it's not my place.

You know the funny thing? When they spend time with me and their Grandmother they are good as gold! Go figure?


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## seminole wind (Aug 22, 2015)

Jan, it's probably due to your unspoken expectations. I think kids have a harder time at everything when they have no boundaries. Like jobs, growing up, and with things that require delayed gratification such as college. 

I think my daughter's biggest error is not following thru with what she tells them she wants done. I will just keep my mouth shut and maintain the oblivious look on my face.


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## jn4 (Jun 21, 2012)

You may be right. They are not bad kids.....just unruly for him....they love pushing his buttons.

Parenting is hard and they give no how to manuals when you leave the hospital. And kids are a lot like new puppies,..they gonna piss on the rug until you teach them,.... NO! 
We just got to find the correct combination. That's why I followed some of the things my parents did. Even at that...there is no magic pill...

Glad you got back safe from SA!!


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## seminole wind (Aug 22, 2015)

Thanks!
You're right, there's no magical pill. They'll probably be okay.


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