# My spouse ..........



## seminole wind (Aug 22, 2015)

First off, he sits at the laptop all day with the tv on . All day! Then every time I do something, he watches me. I can't stand it. Today I was moving the tv cables on my tv and he was watching me and I said "what's the matter?" And he acts like I have lost my marbles asking that question.

He says to me later "Have I done something to you?" I said no, why. He said I cleaned out my car and put the garbage in the garbage can and didn't tell him. So it didn't get put out for the garbage truck. 

It's always something. I seem to tiptoe around him. I'd like to yell and scream. Anything to make my anxiety go up. Then he slams things. My daughter keeps telling me "Mom, he's getting old" (71). I guess so. I feel like before I do something, I should ask him how first. 

He's really on my nerves. And I mean he's doing his best to increase my anxiety. Grrrrr!


----------



## nannypattyrn (Aug 23, 2015)

I have an open floor plan, and mine does the same thing. If I ho to the kitchen, he wants to know what I'm "making". He's always got the TV on. I guess I'm a little mouthy because tell him most of "something " Then I feel guilty...I can't do a lot of noise esp. after a work day. So I go to the coop or deck or sometimes if I see he's really not watching TV, I turn it off. He gets mad and goes outside or something. We're a pretty good fit though, he puts up with my quirks as wrll.


----------



## robin416 (Sep 8, 2013)

Huh? And I thought I was the only one going through that. I thought it was because he worked away from home and hadn't found his niche here and that it would change over time. After reading what you two wrote, I guess I was deluding myself. 

My MIL went through the same thing to a small degree. My FIL did stuff, he was always puttering and after a time even took over a lot of the housework. But he also did the constant what are you doing type questions.


----------



## chickenqueen (Jan 9, 2016)

Me and mine are the opposite.I have the tv on and am on the laptop off and on all day,in between chores.He complains about the tv being on but he's usually playing video games or sleeping-he has narcolepsy.After 16yrs I can't understand why the tv bothers him so much.I've recently come to the conclusion there are 2 different sets of rules,his and mine.He can play games,fall asleep and let the game make all kinds of noises I have to listen to(but it doesn't bother me).It makes him mad if I leave the tv on and get up and do something,he always gripes and turns it off.We ARE complete opposites in everything but we get along well otherwise.


----------



## seminole wind (Aug 22, 2015)

I have an open floorplan too. I had moved the tv in my bedroom so I wouldn't have to put up with it. But I'm back out in the Livingroom now. And have to deal with his long face and looks. Did he forget it's my house too?

I normally don't have the tv on until 7 or 8 o'clock.

Seems not like there are two different sets of rules. It's like there's his set, and why I am not following it even tho he gets to add rules anytime he wants. I'm pretty easy going. I never say anything. If I do he accuses me of yelling at him or thinking he's stupid. So I don't say anything. If I do I whisper, just to take that comment about yelling away. But he finds something else.


----------



## zamora (May 26, 2015)

I'm guessing all of you are retired? I don't know if my husband and I will be that way or not. We are too much outside type people and with the property we have, it's difficult to find one another if we don't take off together. LOL I guess sometimes that is a good thing?


----------



## WeeLittleChicken (Aug 31, 2012)

Total opposite here. I am very productive - but at my own pace. I have health problems and 'putter' all day. I'll do a chore and sit down for a few minutes, get up and do another chore, and repeat. It does get done but as I said, it has to be at this slow pace or I pay for it dearly. My SO is FULL of energy all the time - wants to be productive 24/7. He has a crazy job I could never handle because of long work hours and the fact he has to deal with so many people! I think I'd go postal. But then he comes home and wants to do something completely different. I went out to lock the chickens in one night and I came back a few minutes later to find he'd ripped apart our kitchen island and the fake beam above it. We were planing to do that anyway (and replacing it with a real beam, better lighting, and a home-built island that makes more sense) but this was not the best timing. So we've been without an island or a kitchen table (for another crazy reason) for a while and the pile-up of random clutter is driving me bonkers!! He'll also work himself to death if I let him. He'll be out building something in the sun and inevitably will over-do and get sun poisoning in the same breathe - come in, feel sick and have muscle shakes for a few days and wonder why. Currently we're arguing about sleep. He's always tired lately. I say it's because we're literally going to bed later every night and getting up earlier and neither of us are 20 anymore. Six hours just isn't going to cut it!! (I'd be pretty ugly if I didn't rely on naps while he's at work.) 

I used to feel bad about all this... because all this building is for the farm I wanted. That was my vision - and it would have been much smaller had I been doing it on my own (because I wouldn't be ale to push like that and make boxes, and coops, and barn doors, and an incubator, etc.) He claims he really enjoys it though -- and before we decided on this place it was either to settle on a farm or a very old near-ruin house we could fix up and resell. So I stopped feeling guilty but eesh. After spending the weekends with him I usually spend much of Monday recovering. Three day weekends and I am usually pretty much toast for a few days... 

Sometimes his enthusiasm can be entertaining though. He's always encouraging me to get out there and use some of my various talents. Like the sculpting. I have all sorts of clay sculptures because I love making them but I also know no one wants a 6 inch tall hamster wearing a kilt, or a steam punk crocodile, or a Doctor Hoo owl... or any other bizarre thing I come up with. Still, I let him talk me into that craft fair, made all those adorable "chick magnets." Made -5 dollars. Only thing that sold was the soap my mother made that I brought as a favor and even that didn't cover the table cost. "Told you no one wanted these." "You just haven't found the right audience." "And what audience would that be?!" "I haven't figured that out yet." 

Five years ago when we first got together he sold most of his possessions, his home, quit his job and moved 6 hours north to my place. We then went on a 74 day journey across the entire Lower 48. Probably should have taken this as a hint. Totally nuts -- but so glad we did it! Now if only I could make the blog I wrote on that trip into a book I'd be pleased as punch.... then we'd both be productive!


----------



## nannypattyrn (Aug 23, 2015)

Z, I'm partially retired, but I still work 2 or 3 days a week sometimes more during vacations or illness. 
WLC, have you or your SO thought about doing a home sleep study to check for sleep apnea? Yes, there are home study devices out and they are way cheaper than going to a sleep lab. I just did mine and I have it bad. I will be on a C-pap machine when it comes in. I am always tired during the day and don't sleep well at night. I'm hoping that will all change when I get used to the machine.


----------



## seminole wind (Aug 22, 2015)

zamora said:


> I'm guessing all of you are retired? I don't know if my husband and I will be that way or not. We are too much outside type people and with the property we have, it's difficult to find one another if we don't take off together. LOL I guess sometimes that is a good thing?


Yea hubby and me are retired. Well I'm on disability retirement .


----------



## seminole wind (Aug 22, 2015)

WLC, I'm like you. It takes me forever to do things. I am just tired most of the time, or my motivation has been dampened by medication. I'm outside a lot, piddling around. Sometimes I get things done. I love building fences and pens. I've got 1/2 my coop painted and had to stop and wait for wood putty to fill a few rotted areas. Then put aluminum flashing over. So much to do, so little energy.


----------

